Holden Caulfield.

This past week I’ve felt very much like one of my favorite fictional characters, Holden Caulfield from The Cather in the Rye. No matter how hard I try to be perky and see the good in people, give them the benefit of the doubt and pretend like I don’t mind that everyone is putting on a show, at the end of the day I just want to get home and scream. At the end of the day. Every single day. No I don’t live at a boarding school full of pretentious nitwits but I might as well; community college is the next worse thing. Perhaps the most aggravating moment this week came when some twenty-something “I’m going back to school after spending years traveling the country and being better than you” type of guy decided to throw America under the bus in agreement with my professor by loudly exclaiming, “Oh that we were like Canada” and leaning back in his chair. Phonies. I wish I was more articulate and could explain exactly why it makes me so infuriated when people make drive-by knocks at their own country, but instead I’ll just say that I think this guy is a giant prick.

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m stressed out because of school or if there is a serious screw loose in my psyche, but I’m ready for college students to cut this “I’m so Indie I wash my clothes in Thom Yorke’s urine” bullcrap. Dear guy in my photo-history class who has to ask the professor if he can share with us his artistic interpretation of every single slide that goes on the screen, I DON’T CARE. Does Huene’s “Izod Swimwear, 1930” really remind you of that one summer in high school when you traveled the Mediterranean coast and survived off the kindness and generosity of others? A) I don’t believe you and B) That’s not at all relevant or beneficial to the rest of the class. Thanks for the good times.

I’m going to come out right now and un-Hipster myself just because I’m ashamed to be associated with “the scene.” Yes, I shop at Nordstrom’s. And yes, I wear make-up that was probably tested on animals. I hope a mouse died so that my lashes look fuller and curl better. I hate mice anyways. Yeah…I do like Radiohead, but I also like The Beatles (sooooo cliché). Sometimes I do feel depressed and moody, but I’m not proud of it and I don’t flaunt it for the whole world to see. Get a grip.

Phonies I tell you.
At least Holden understands me.